Written September 2003
Today again
I touched the pain
of childhood in South Africa,
which connected to my pain
of adulthood in Israel.
We gathered
a group.
Woman all hurting.
Woman all yearning
to live in peace,
side by side
no matter who we are.
Jew, Christian, or Muslim.
Each month
we meet.
Each month
we weep
as we touch each other
and touch the parts of us
that are looking for release.
That are yearning for peace.
Up front I stood ?
racism, the subject.
to tell about my childhood.
where Black is not beautiful
and White is right.
No matter what!
I went into a bubble of pain.
Tears falling like rain,
Emotions, Beyond Words
as I was transported back
to the yard
and the jumble sale.
White woman proudly
selling their used beautiful clothes
to Black ?girls?,
in order to make money for charity.
The anger burst through me
like a furnace
as I remembered
a young Black ?Boy?,
who had never owned a toy,
steal the box of money
that these woman wanted for charity.
I see the face of fear.
I see the face of jeer.
That of the ?boy?.
That of the police.
I hear the blows
as he is beaten to a pulp.
For what?????!!!!!!
Because White is right and
Black is not beautiful.
Then I see the faces
Of the White women ? silent.
Arms folded.
Mouths shut.
I scream and shout
hitting out
as my life in Africa
intermingles with
my life in Israel.
Of silent women
Allowing atrocities to
Carry on and on.
Women who?s children
Are torn out of their wombs
and placed in tombs.
Men pulling the strings
that are tied around our necks
as we keep silent.
Politicians, governments speak up
and speak out ? war, money, war, money,
feeding us with fear
as our children are taken from our breasts
to their graves.
Auschwitz, Johannesburg, Jerusalem, Gaza, Ramallah.
Buses blowing up.
Children dying.
Everyone crying.
Jews, Muslims, Christians, Druze. Black, White.
I feel like my past,
my present.
my future are all in a blender.
Turning and churning,
as the pain
is released from the deepest
part of my being.
Then I let go,
resting in the space
Beyond Words.
My body shaking
as I start waking
to who I can be.
A proud white Jewish woman
who speaks up
and speaks out.
Who?s heart is open
because it is broken.
I commit myself to this ?
To speak up and speak out
From a place of love.
From a space of honoring the light and life
in each person I meet.
I give thanks to the past.
I give thanks to the pain.
I give thanks to the women who embrace me
with their love,
allowing me to touch the pain
that is Beyond Words.
May this be our gain ?
To live the life we deserve!