Mom and the Pursuit of Excellence
?? my mother would repeat the mantra ?practice makes perfect? ?we would go through the dances again and again ad nauseum. Once mastery of the steps and sequence was accomplished she taught me the art of expression ?Take whatever you have deep inside and express it through the dance. let it out?. She taught me to express my soul through dance at that young age ? What a gift I was given ? what a mother I had! When I was on that stage ? at the peak of practice, at the peak of expression , pulling deep from my soul, the oneness I felt was unforgettable ? a little bit of heaven.
Last Days
In 1998 my Mom suddenly fell ill after fighting years of a rare disease called scleroderma She was able to recover for a few months ? but subsequently deteriorated She was well enough to fly and she travelled to my brother Baruch in London and was taken care of by him, his wonderful wife Rachel, their12 children, and the whole of the Lubavitch community of Stamford Hill. She was never hospitalized They brought the hospital to her -daily oxygen tanks nurses and medical care Ravin and I flew emergently to be with her and spent two nights with her ? they were the most profound and chilling of my life the story which I will reserve for another time when I feel stronger
She struggled to get her peace for two nights On the morning of her last day, a member of the Chevre Kaddisha ? a neighbour, popped in just to see how she was ? he had deep warm eyes that remain in my memory to this day. He had a kindness and understanding beyond this world, There was something unusual about him. I think he was a rabbi ? Rabbi Green I want to say.
She had a few more hours of agonal breathing and we were called suddenly when whoever was sitting by her side at the time called to announce that she had left us- her moment had arrived The three brothers rushed to her bedside and just stood and cried with expected reaction for a few minutes, (or so it seemed), around her lifeless body
Without being called, almost as if he was signalled by a higher being, in rushes Rabbi Green, reads the situation and says ? did you say Shema? We urgently held each other and in crying voices barely able to keep the flow of words, we start out ?Shema yisrael adonai elohenu?? and on the ?Adonai echad ?- our mother out of nowhere takes a huge breath ? and then there was no more ? or at least in the world we know
Cause to pause and wonder
Shabbat Shalom
September 26th 2009
Was taking the dog for a walk on this chilly fall morning -Erev Yom Kippur and the sun was rising and had a ?Halo? by Sasha Fierce singing right into my soul through my ear pieces I started dancing since there was nobody around in the park and then I heard the words
like I have been awakened?
everywhere I am looking now
I am surrounded by your embrace
?.I can see your halo
the sun was bright ? I could not look into its face
I burst out crying