Bullying
Copyright 2009
Quotes from Our Thread
Something near and dear to our site ? bullying!!
Geoff Hirsowitz just emailed me that next week is the 4th National Bullying Prevention Week in the US
What a great idea ? should be a world wide event
On a local level ? I suspect many of those who have not responded to our call for participation were uncomfortable at the school because they were bullied in one way or the other
Bullying at School
copyright 2009
Terry Levenberg
Choose a school that is full of freaky kids first up.
Make sure that there is a clear zero tolerance policy in the school.
Expel without question students who bully.
Make sure parents know that the Board of the school can be accessed if management does not act.
Too often the bully?s are empowered because somehow the school sees them as valued members.
Give the kids an online forum where they can talk openly without being identified.
As a parent demand family meetings with school management, head of the Board and the bully?s family. In NZ we do this with murderers families with powerful effect.
Terry Levenberg
A few years ago I heard a counselor on the radio describe a strategy she recommended to victims. Given that most if not all bullying stems from insecurity on the part of the perpetrator, her advice was to find a moment to tell him or her that ?I understand where your behaviour comes from and I sympathise with you?. The idea I think was that the expression of sympathy acts to remove some of the power.
Years ago on a live TV talk show (?Donahue? for you long-time US residents who remember Phil) a woman appeared as a guest to talk about her experiences as a victim of school bullying. A guy then called in and admitted to her that he had been responsible and apologised. Her shock at this was palpable. She burst into tears. I think he may have too. It was riveting television.
This is a very big problem and can have long-term effects ? often setting victims back years in their emotional development. I saw it at my kids? (Jewish) school and it took various forms. I blamed the teachers who seemed to think it was a parents? problem. Eventually some anti-bullying seminars were introduced but I don?t think it was very effective. One form of bullying was simply by exclusion. There were several girls? cliques that formed. From memory these were, in descending order of seniority
The ?popular? group
The ?JAPPY? group
The ?daggy? group (dag = nerd, approximately)
The Russians
Nothing tugs at my heartstrings like the sight of a child being victimised by others. I don?t know why it has such an effect on me. I don?t recall ever being bullied (unless any of you want to own up!) but I think it deserves to be treated as the highest priority at schools everywhere.
I do remember desperately wanting to be part of Ronald Epstein and Bobby Heilbron?s gang in Standard four, although I can?t recall the gang?s activities. When I was finally accepted, the group was forced to break up for reasons I also cannot recall. Perhaps the teachers of 1963 knew something modern teachers don?t.
Bullying What is it?
Assistant
Article that Tells it Like it Is
http://www.morningsun.net/columns/x593068246/Family-Lifelines
It takes a community to prevent bullying of children. The fourth Annual National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week, Oct. 4-10 encourages communities nationwide to work together to increase awareness of the prevalence and impact of bullying on all children.
Bullying is a specific type of aggression that intends to harm. Bullying is repetitive and thrives on a power differential. The bully attempts to produce a sense of power over their target. Often, bullying creates this sense of terror not only for the target but also for those who observe it as bystanders.
Bullying can be direct through physical means such as hitting and shoving or verbal means such as name-calling and threats. Indirect bullying can occur through intimidation and harassment or through rumors and social exclusion.
There are significant gender and age differences in the prevalence of bullying. Physical bullying is more prevalent at younger ages and among boys. Social bullying is more common among girls. As girls begin middle school they are more likely to bully each other through social exclusion and relationships.
Electronic bullying is the latest mode of bullying, becoming especially prevalent among teens. This form of bullying includes texting insults on cell phones, spreading rumors on e-mail, harassing by instant message and posting embarrassing items on social network profiles.
Electronic or cyber-bullying can be far more damaging than face-to-face bullying. Instead of remaining a private matter or known by just a few persons, text or photos can be communicated to a large audience in a short time.
There tends to be a code of silence about bullying situations. The target does not tell because they may be ashamed of being bullied or afraid of retaliation. They may think that no one can or will help them.
The bystander that sees or knows bullying is going on may not tell because they too may be afraid of being hurt. They do not want to draw attention to themselves and risk being the next target. And they may simply not know what to do.
Sustained changes in social settings are required to change social behaviors. Adults must be willing to help youth and young teens learn positive assertive behaviors. Help young children learn to distinguish between playful behaviors and mean and hurtful behaviors.
K-State Extension Youth Development Specialist, Elaine Johannes, says adults today need to learn more about how youth of today communicate. ?As an adult, I need to be a guest in their world so that I can help but not reach out and take that technology away.? ?We need to help our youth use technology wisely and safely,? Johannes says.
Johannes has written an Extension resource to help adults understand and be of help in dealing with issues of teen bullying entitled, ?Breaking the Code.? To receive this K-State Research & Extension publication on teen bullying, (MF2776T) call the Crawford County Extension office at 620-724-8233 or visit the K-State Extension Web site at: http://www.ksre.ksu.edu.
This fourth annual national awareness week for bullying prevention is sponsored by PACER, a national parenting center. ?When 160,000 children in the United States miss school each day as a result of being bullied, it?s time to take action,? said Paula F. Goldberg, executive director of PACER. To learn more from this national center promoting this awareness week, visit their Web site at: http://www.PACER.org.
Goldberg says, ?Teachers, parents, students and adults throughout each community must work together to create a climate that doesn?t accept bullying. When bullying is reduced, communities will see more students with higher self-esteem, better school attendance, less physical and mental stress and better school performance.?
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