Copyright 2009
Yes the most recent tragedy is that we lost Bessan to the war in Gaza this last January??here is what I wrote a month after it happened?..
Please please tell me this is a night mare! ? That I will wake up and it will have just been a bad dream, a real bad dream?..it is 4 in the morning ?I cannot sleep?it is not a night mare ? I have to face the truth?Yes my own people have killed one of our wonderful peacemakers, our camper, our very first and only Palestinian from our first camp in 2003?. Please let me fall asleep again so I can believe this is just a night mare!
Hanuka ? the festival of light turns into darkness as the Kasams fall daily on Sderot and ?we? decide?enough! Eight years is enough! Oh my God ?now I don?t worry only about Tamar, Tal, Hagar, Yaara and Ravid from Sderot??but I worry about Sabreen, Diana, Rana, Dalal, Bessan and Shadha from Gaza too!
I keep calling, sending SMS?s ? sometimes I get an answer, sometimes not?.CFP girls are calling Sylvi and I constantly, some hysterical, upset about what others have written on the Facebook. Others sharing that they have called their friends from the other side or that they don?t have the guts to call their friends from the other side. Tears in every conversation?.how are my friends??..are they safe? We spend hours trying to calm the girls, sharing our sadness, which turns into anger and rage as the days go by.
My friends and I start a petition trying to save the children. Connecting with the UN, with Ulmert?s office trying every which way to save the children and innocent victims of this war on both sides?.After five days I cannot get hold of Sabreen any more?. I am in constant touch with the girls from Sderot ?the only one I manage to talk to in Gaza is Ezaldeen , the father of Bessan, Dalal and Shadha, who has an Israeli mobile?he hands the phone to Bessan?what can I say to her?I tell her we are all praying for their safety?I hear her gentle voice, quiet and subdued on the other end?..I put down the phone and cry copiously?.
All our girls are stressed and upset . Silvi and I decide we must help them by having a gathering . With all the difficulty and fear it brings up in us ? we must help them face each other during this awful time. We make dates for the end of January, thinking that not many girls will come ? but we will do it anyway!
Every other day I call Ezaldeen?the days go by ?.it is just getting worse?.I speak with him and hear the terror in his voice??Anael there are tanks in front of our house?Anael help us? he pleads to me through the phone. I speak with my daughter?s friend who has connections in the army ? he promises to try to help?..I am beside myself with anger, pain, anguish and worry?I don?t have the guts to call any more?I don?t listen to the news or watch T.V I cannot bear it any longer?.
Friday the 16th. Tommy, my son comes to visit me in my new home in Tzfat. We sit in the lounge overlooking the Sea of Galilee?.it is around 4.30 in the afternoon. I say ??Let?s check the news. I haven?t heard any in days ..just could not bring myself to watch? It hits me in the belly. The pain shooting into my heart I feel like I have been shot! ?.I hear his voice?screaming screaming?.?they have killed my girls? I know that voice?I too start to scream?..I tear at my hair?.I fall on my knees ?I run to the bathroom needing to be sick?.I run back ?maybe it is just a night mare ?no ? there is Shlomi Eldar on TV?speaking with Ezaldeen trying to help get them out ?which girls are dead?!?! I cannot breath?This can?t be happening!!!! Tommy holds me, trying to calm me down, ? I cannot be calmed?.my neighbor and friend Shanti comes ? tries to help by giving me Reiki?.I manage to calm down enough to call Dottie, our Executive Director and try to call Silvi who is not answering her phone?
I decide not to rush to the hospital yet until I know what is happening?who has been killed and if there is anything I can do to help?..eventually I get hold of Silvi ?we cry together on the phone and decide to wait till morning when I will pick her up and we will go to the hospital.
Since that day a month has passed?this is not a night mare?it is real?.I am strengthened and more determined than ever by all the girls from CFP who have come to visit Shadha and her dad in the hospital, creating a beautiful collage of drawings on the hospital wall. By the many Israeli?s from all walk?s of life who have come to share the pain and give their condolences, Jews and Arabs, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, bringing food, doing our laundry, giving gifts to Shadha and her cousin Raida , who was released from intensive care a few days ago. By the many reporters from all over the world who want to share this human story. By our campers who came together with such courage at the end of January to share their rage, disappointment, their fear , their hopelessness and who left with a feeling of release and a bit of hope?we have never had such a big gathering. By Dalal?s ( Bessan?s sister) courage to come to the gathering after all she is going through. By Shadhas?s positive attitude which is helping her recover miraculously and mostly by Ezaldeen ? the true peacemaker who has no signs of revenge, no negative words?only talk of his wish for his daughters to be the last victims of this futile war. He speaks of how we should all be like the doctors that treat all equally and with respect. He is thinking of ways to help educate the poor girls in Gaza who have no opportunity for an education??I want to give them skills and tools for a better life so they can create a healthier society in the future?.
I feel I am in the presence of a Gandhi, a Nelson Mandela. I am honored to serve this family and the girls of Creativity for Peace. And I pray that one day I will wake up to a new reality where our girls will be the leaders and there will be peace in the Middle East. Ezaldeen said the other day ? It is time for the people to lead the politicians and not the politicians to lead the people!? May this become a reality!
Dr. Izaldeen Abualaish has since been nominated for the Noble Peace Prize!
I will say no more and let the poetry speak for itself .
And mostly thanks to my personal children ? you are my biggest gift and for your children I do this ??may they live in a different reality!