LOSING MOTHER WIFE AND SISTER IN 12 MONTHS
On Death and Dying
Copyright 2009
Times of Extreme Sorrow
Sam, It was one of 3 in 12 months! Life has a way of throwing one curve balls. I can empathise with Lev after reading his story. I lost my mother, wife and sister [Last 2 to cancer] in 12 months.Still, the son comes up in the morning!
Thanks Stiller, I believe the Native Americans [Terrible description] have a saying ?Never judge until you have walked a mile in another mans shoes? Trite but true.Someone else has got it worse!
People think I am Losing It?.
People think I am losing it but I chat to Felicia every day. One day if I can get the courage to do it I will tell you what happened at our home starting on the day of the funeral and lasting the whole week of Shiva. Bear in mind that my background was rural Zululand [As it was known in those days] It was scary and surreal to say the least.
The Praying Mantis
Hilton, I suppose it depends on what part of Zululand you were in and what clan lived in that area.
As far as the Praying Mantis goes, here it is:
This is a story I heard in about 1960 to 1962 sitting around the cooking fire at a Zulu kraal on my late fathers farm in the Enyati Valley, the ancestral home of the Buthelezi clan of the Zulu nation.[This is the valley where H Rider Haggard wrote King Solomon?s Mines and the Alan Quatermain books] Zulu history is an oral history, passed down to the children by the elders talking and telling stories around cooking fires throughout Zululand.
The man telling the story must have been 100 years old, having fought against the British during the Zulu wars. He fought at the Battle of Isandlawana in 1879.
He told us that in Zulu culture a Praying Mantis was a sacred insect because the souls of those nearest and dearest to you find their repose in a Praying Mantis after their passing. If a Praying Mantis is inadvertently killed in a hut in the kraal, the elders immediately send a team to destroy the hut and a new hut for that family is rebuilt by the community.
Bear this in mind when you read what follows.
Whilst I am intensely and proudly Jewish, I am not as devout and observant as most.
The morning after my wife Felicia?s death I awoke at about 2.30 AM [My body clock hadn?t adjusted yet.] Went downstairs to make a cup of coffee and just felt a presence in the room. Looked around and on the Patio door saw a Praying Mantis sitting on the glass. First time in many years I had seen one.
Came back from the funeral and it was still there.
The Rabbi?s at the funeral and who came to see us during Shiva all spoke of the Neshoma of the departed not leaving for a while after their physical passing. All the while ?my? Praying Mantis stayed! It stayed on the Patio door until the following Thursday when the stone was unveiled. I got home after the unveiling and it was gone. Its been back twice since, the 1st time the 8 months later when I came back from the hospital having told the doctors to terminate my sisters chemo and allow her to die and the 2nd time when I was going through a particularly dark and bleak time.
How can one not believe!
Maybe the Zulu are one of the lost tribes of Israel.
What do you think
Maybe Jacob Zuma is not the only ?100% Zulu Boy?
As far as the Praying Mantis goes, here it is:
This is a story I heard in about 1960 to 1962 sitting around the cooking fire at a Zulu kraal on my late fathers farm in the Enyati Valley, the ancestral home of the Buthelezi clan of the Zulu nation.[This is the valley where H Rider Haggard wrote King Solomon?s Mines and the Alan Quatermain books] Zulu history is an oral history, passed down to the children by the elders talking and telling stories around cooking fires throughout Zululand.
The man telling the story must have been 100 years old, having fought against the British during the Zulu wars. He fought at the Battle of Isandlawana in 1879.
He told us that in Zulu culture a Praying Mantis was a sacred insect because the souls of those nearest and dearest to you find their repose in a Praying Mantis after their passing. If a Praying Mantis is inadvertently killed in a hut in the kraal, the elders immediately send a team to destroy the hut and a new hut for that family is rebuilt by the community.
Bear this in mind when you read what follows.
Whilst I am intensely and proudly Jewish, I am not as devout and observant as most.
The morning after my wife Felicia?s death I awoke at about 2.30 AM [My body clock hadn?t adjusted yet.] Went downstairs to make a cup of coffee and just felt a presence in the room. Looked around and on the Patio door saw a Praying Mantis sitting on the glass. First time in many years I had seen one.
Came back from the funeral and it was still there.
The Rabbi?s at the funeral and who came to see us during Shiva all spoke of the Neshoma of the departed not leaving for a while after their physical passing. All the while ?my? Praying Mantis stayed! It stayed on the Patio door until the following Thursday when the stone was unveiled. I got home after the unveiling and it was gone. Its been back twice since, the 1st time the 8 months later when I came back from the hospital having told the doctors to terminate my sisters chemo and allow her to die and the 2nd time when I was going through a particularly dark and bleak time.
How can one not believe!
Maybe the Zulu are one of the lost tribes of Israel.
What do you think
Maybe Jacob Zuma is not the only ?100% Zulu Boy?
Time
Lindsay, thank you! I beleive ,despite the bad times, that I was one of the lucky ones. I at least had 20 of the most marvellous years imaginable and they will sustain me till my time is up!We both knew, from the outset, that if the chemo worked, we had possibly 3 years but were also aware that the 6 month scenario was the more likely. The tragedy was that when she died she was absolutely cancer free but the chemo just destroyed her. She went from 59 Kilos to 31 kilos in 5 months.