The Common Vein

 

Copyright 2009

 

My email: knowme@idirect.ca

Husband: Max

Children: Michael, Jonathan and Atessa 

email

knowme@idirect.ca

Am I a Somebody?

The Accidental Memoirs of an ex KDHS schoolgirl

      (Title lifted from the memoirs of Nuala O?Faolain without her permission)

I have so enjoyed connecting and reconnecting with you all, whether in person or in reading your stories, and dreamily thinking about our school years.   We grew up in a fine community.

 Standing on one leg (like Hillel), after KDHS I graduated from Wits as a psychologist.   I now have a private practice in mid-town Toronto, where I live with my husband and two dogs.  I have two adult step-sons and a daughter-in-law elect.  And the rest is commentary.

Our intrepid publisher Ashley is likely to encourage me to elaborate.    But who could possibly be interested?   My perception is that at KDHS I was a Nobody.  Obama had the self-confidence to write his story well before he was a Somebody, (as did Stalin and Hitler, I am told).  But I am no Obama.

(Now Class ?  That is the definition of an Understatement.  Do you Understand? Stillerman! Wipe that grin off your face!)

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times (Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities)

 (ok Mrs Cohen, so it was worthwhile reading the classics.?..Today fewer of us would have laughed raucously  at your encouragement of our learning about the opera and ballet,  but then more of us would have objected to reading books written by DWEMS (Dead White European Males)

 King David was an amazing school.  For its times, our education, including our Jewish education, was excellent.    Proof of this is Us.    We were taught to be solid and productive and caring citizens.  We had a social conscience.   We understood (at too deep a level, probably) the concepts of guilt and punishment.

 By the 1980?s some educators had come to believe in the importance of all ?round social and emotional development, as well as academic.   I became a psychologist at Redhill School (Sandton), probably because I had so keenly felt what had been lacking in my own education.

Our Head was preoccupied with his school looking good.  And we were. We were paraded in front of visiting dignitiaries.   The brightest amongst us were lauded, as were our top sports teams.   Although he would never have discriminated against anyone on the basis of color or religion,  it was ok to be bullying and demeaning to those who did not look/behave/think the way he thought they should, or who were vulnerable. We received little modeling (the best form of education) on the ability to identify with the needs and feelings of each other.  In most institutions even those on the lowest ranks tend to identify, not even consciously, with their Boss.   We all knew, or thought we knew, of the importance of treating different racial groups with respect.   But, like our Boss, we had our share of bullies and bitches.   I was bullied mercilessly by Myself.

 I was very fortunate that I enjoyed learning, so could leave school with my academic self-esteem intact.  But it was years before Bill Gates made being a nerd socially acceptable.  It also took  years to realize that I could enjoy jogging,  even though I wasn?t fast,  or that because I didn?t get accepted for a sports team at age 10 didn?t mean I could not and should not play sports,  ever.

 I have been lucky that I  chose a profession that I still enjoy and find fulfilling;   the work,  the reading,  the learning,  and the exchanges with colleagues at conferences.  Now,  having  worked in clinics for years,  I have a  private practice,  so that I can keep my own hours,  and have the well-rounded life. (Difficult on the north-east coast,  as some of you no doubt know ? being a workaholic here is very Cool).

To be contd